Manny Ramirez, El Maniaco, Jesus, and Other Championship Performances: Part II

8 05 2009

Our friend Neil Dodson, who earlier wrote about Manny Ramirez here, responds to the recent steroids scandal, doubling down on his earlier theory.

Life is a series of numbers, revolving characters, flim-flam, death, destruction, re-creation, recreation, and championship performances.  Our body constantly destroys cells and replenishes them with other stuff so that we can continue to live.  And then there’s Manny Ramirez.  We all know that Manny came from the future to save baseball and to prevent catastrophic events from occurring: but until now, we did not know that he served to save all of humanity.

Most people think that time travel can not occur because we have never actually met a time traveler.  Individuals argue that if a being from the future could come back to our past, then why wouldn’t he or she let us know?  People present similar arguments to explain that God must not exist.  However, common experience has shown that things don’t work that way.  If somebody has super-powers, they never reveal that fact—instead, we only observe the indirect impact on our lives.  Such is the power of Manny.

Manny used a strange steroid to get suspended and allow baseball to continue.  The Dodgers sadly rolled on a pace to win every game for the rest of the season and nobody would watch baseball anymore, effectively ending the sport.  Why would a Cardinals fan even watch baseball knowing they had no chance to win the World Series?  Appropriately, Manny knew he could play no longer.  He tried to willingly stop playing last year but Boston fans revolted: this was his only option.  At times, it is difficult to handle selfless sacrifice, but throughout history (see examples throughout history) such action can only be honored and imitated, although never fully understood.

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