Need Advice for Upcoming Fantasy Draft

12 09 2008

My co-blogger isn’t writing any posts right now, because he’s planning his wedding, so I figured it’s a good time to ask him for some advice for my upcoming fantasy wedding draft.  I’m targeting certain people for some positions, but others I have no idea.  Here’s a breakdown:

Groom: Me (obviously)

Bride: It’s a 16-team league, and I’m the only guy, so usually I can wait till the end to fill this spot.  Last year, however, the one bisexual girl beat me to Natalie Portman, so I had to settle for Claire Danes.  Doh!  Hopefully this year Portman will slip to me late…it’s just not worth wasting a pick on a bride when everyone else is locking in key players in the other positions.

Groom’s parents: Last year I had Tommy Lee Jones and Nancy Pelosi, which was pretty decent, but I’m looking to upgrade in this position.  If Bill Cosby is still around in the second round, I’m probably picking him, though I might use him as father of the bride also.  I’m also intriged by the idea, recently pitched by the Stupendous Mr. Roto, about using Bono in this spot.

Bride’s parents: My top choices would be Obama and Meryl Streep, but chances are they’ll both be gone by my frist pick. (I pick 16th and then 25th)  I really like Bo Jackson as a sleeper.  Bo knows lots of cool people, so I’ll pick up a lot of guest list points here, although my media buzz may be down a little compared to some other choices.

Best Man: I’d be really happy with Matt Damon, except that he probably gets picked as a groom early on.  I remember back in 1998, a year after Good Will Hunting, Ben Affleck went in the second round, but Damon became my best man in the seventh!  Since then, Affleck’s been falling (Funston’s Big Board has him on the bubble) while Damon’s gone straight to the top (13 on the Big Board).  It’s fair to say I won’t be picking Affleck–I’d sooner take his brother Casey–but I’m not really sure who to target.  Is Will Smith still a good choice?

Entertainment: This pick is already deciced.  Every year I pick Jimmie Moore, my entire league derides me, other teams draft crappy DJs, and I do just fine.  Let me ask one simple question: Can your DJ move like this?

Drunken Relative/Black Sheep: Our league requires you to play at least one, but you can rack up major bonus points for playing extras in your utility spots.  I’m toying with the idea of inviting the disaster trio of Hilton, Spears and Lohan.  I’ve never heard of anyone trying an idea this crazy, but really…what’s the worst that can happen?

Photographer: No idea…I always just pick by the highest rating, but I lose a lot of points here.  I’m completely lost as to how to match a photographer to a guest list.

Menu option: Okay, this one always kills me.  Assuming that beef, chicken, fish and vegetarian go early, what do I do?  Seafood seems really risky.  What comes next?  Lamb stew?  Pork Tenderloin?  Meatloaf?  Vegan?  Assuming I don’t get one of my top four, I’d be tempted to just skip dinner and draft two desserts.

Any advice would be really appreciated.  Last year I finished 15th out of 16.




2 responses

14 09 2008

I have an ace-in-the-hole for menu options: potluck. Sounds trashy (really trashy), I know, but as long as you select an open bar, nobody cares in the end. Plus it can work well with some of the more choice drunken relative picks. I go with Randy Quaid, myself. If Natalie Portman gets picked, you can always go with the British version: Kiara Knightly. As for entertainment, anybody remember that roller-dance magician guy from the last episode of Freaks and Geeks?

4 06 2009
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