Manny Ramirez, El Maniaco, Jesus, and Other Championship Performances: Part II

Our friend Neil Dodson, who earlier wrote about Manny Ramirez here, responds to the recent steroids scandal, doubling down on his earlier theory.

Life is a series of numbers, revolving characters, flim-flam, death, destruction, re-creation, recreation, and championship performances.  Our body constantly destroys cells and replenishes them with other stuff so that we can continue to live.  And then there’s Manny Ramirez.  We all know that Manny came from the future to save baseball and to prevent catastrophic events from occurring: but until now, we did not know that he served to save all of humanity.

You Like a Da Juice, Manny? Da Juice is Good, Yeah?

So maybe Neil was wrong when he suggested Manny Ramirez’s secret ingredient was time travel.  Nope, turns out Manny’s been caught doping.  His explanation:

Recently I saw a physician for a personal health issue. He gave me a medication, not a steroid, which he thought was okay to give me. Unfortunately, the medication was banned under our drug policy. Under the policy that mistake is now my responsibility. I have been advised not to say anything more for now. I do want to say one other thing; I’ve taken and passed about 15 drug tests over the past five seasons.

Victim of circumstance, or long-time steroid user?  You be the judge.  Note, it’s very easy to pass 15 drug tests over five seasons by using time travel.

Manny Ramirez, El Maniaco, Jesus, and Other Championship Performances

This is a guest-post from Neil Dodson, a long-time friend and fantasy adversary.

Life is a series of numbers, revolving characters, flim-flam, death, destruction, re-creation, recreation, and championship performances.  Our body constantly destroys cells and replenishes them with other stuff so that we can continue to live.  And then there’s Manny Ramirez.  Every once in a while, something will happen in life that’s so startling and so significant that it transcends everything else and changes how things are done.  Out of all the large numbers, and all the repetition, something will rise out of the fluff and everything else will imitate how things are done.  And that’s Manny Ramirez.