Fantasy Baseball MVP

With the first quarter of the season complete, both my fantasy baseball teams sit in first place.  I wouldn’t say comfortably in first–in one league we’re tied for first–but I wouldn’t say uncomfortably either.  It’s like the teams are sitting on a futon.

Interestingly, the two teams have only one player in common and, given that both are in first place, this player is clearly the key to my early success*.  So, congratulations to my 1st quarter MVP: batting .216, with 9 homers, 1 steal, 32 RBIs, 21 Runs, and a 0.778 OPS, Mr. Dan Uggla.

*note: this post is meant to be sarcastic.  Uggla is not the key to our success; he’s been highly mediocre.  The true key to success has been my and Hurricane’s awesomeness.

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Joe Mauer

I’m a bit of a self-hating sports fan.  I hate the fact that my emotions are dependent on the performance of sports franchises over which I have no control.  I hate all the randomness involved, and the misguided attempts by analysts to explain it all away.  I despise the degree to which referees can influence the outcome of a game, particularly in basketball and football.  I hate the tribalism involved in sports, the arbitrary in-groups and out-groups based on geography.  To be honest, were it not for fantasy sports, I probably never would have made it as a sports fan.

The Minnie Minoso of Fantasy Baseball

White Sox legend Minnie Minoso is famous for suiting up for the Sox in the 50s, 60s, 70s, and 80s.  The baseball commissioner prevented the 68 year-old from returning in 1990, though he did play for the independent league’s St. Paul Saints 1993 and 2003.

If there’s a fantasy equivalent, it’s probably Jamie Moyer, a long-time favorite of the Hurricane.  Last year, I joked to Hurricane that he should give me a list of pitchers that were valueless to our team, and that he was about to drop for Jamie Moyer.  I’d assumed Moyer had retired, but he hadn’t, and Hurricane actually did add him for a start or two last year.  And indeed, now at age 46, Hurricane’s slotted him in for his start against the Nationals.  We’ll see how this plays out…

Update: Moyer’s line was 6IP, W, 5 Ks, 6 ERA, 1.67 WHIP.  Not great, but, a win’s a win.

Matt Bonner Projected to Win Jon Barry MVP

Each week I look at the top players available in my fantasy basketball league to determine the Jon Barry All-stars, named after waiver wire favorite Jon Barry. At year’s end, the player earning the most Jon Barry points will be named Jon Barry MVP.

Here are the top competitors in the Jon Barry MVP race, with this week’s score and season-long score:

• Matt Bonner, 1.0, 10.5
• Jarrett Jack, 0.9, 0.9
• Rasual Butler, 0.8, 1.6
• Delonte West, 0.7, 2.9
• Steve Blake, 0.6, 0.6
• James Posey, 0, 7.6
• Udonis Haslem, 0, 4.0

With only a week or so left to play, it’s safe to say that Matt Bonner will win the Jon Barry MVP trophy.  Congratulations to Matt, who will also star in an upcoming film with Jon Barry, who’s actually just one of Ali G’s alter-egos.

Meanwhile, here are the standings in my lone fantasy basketball league:

• League leader: 92 points
• 2nd place: 75 points
• My team: 71.5 points
• 4th place 68.5 points

Thus it’s also safe to project that the Hurricane and I will not win our league, after a moderately disastrous season.  2nd and 4th are both remote possibilities, but we likely finish 3rd.  Next year, when planning our draft, I plan to experiment by using Bonner, Posey, Haslem and West as examples of replacement players.

Draft Day Secrets Revealed–Kawasaki Konjecture

The Kawasaki Konjecture, which I mentioned earlier, is a theory of starting pitching in fantasy baseball, which I’m attributing to my long-time co-manager Hurricane Kawasaki.

Hurricane summarizes in an email:

Two beers and a dozen Victorino jokes later…

My fantasy baseball season has begun.  Downed a couple beers, fired up this year’s version of The Model and my co-manager’s notes and entered the draft room.