Jose Canseco Fails to Steal Gold Coins

Jose Canseco’s Mixed Martial Arts fight, which I broke down earlier, is now complete.  Video here–skip ahead to the 5:20 mark for the start of the fight.  See below for commentary, but watch the video first.

“Streaming Catchers” viable?

So I noticed that in the league that we play in, most owners are already in the hole when it comes to games played for catchers. The only owners who aren’t “in the red,” are the owners who have 2 catchers or have Victor Martinez. More specifically, I noticed it first for myself and have been trying to figure out how to ‘make up’ those games. So, how do you do that?

Kawasaki Konjecture, May 18

Every two weeks, I post the top ten ranked pitchers over the two-week period, in order to test the theory that in fantasy baseball, drafted starting pitchers have little added value over starters added off the waiver wire.

This week’s top ten, from Baseball Monster:

• Early draft picks: Roy Halladay, C.C. Sabathaia, Jake Peavy
• Late draft picks: Justin Verlander, Johnny Cueto, Zack Greinke
• Undrafted: Matt Harrison, Rick Porcello, Jered Weaver, Wandy Rodriguez

See ya, Sedin, Sedin, Sundin

I was out for drinks last night with some friends I hadn’t seen in years, and right as one of them was explaining his dissertation, I yell out, “It’s over, it’s over,” and start pumping my fist.  Everyone was thoroughly confused, unaware and mostly uninterested in the TV screen showing the Blackhawks with a two goal lead, and fifteen seconds on the clock.

TV screens in bars are a terrible thing.

The Double Pitcher

Rick Reilly has a great scoop on a pitcher who throws both left- and right-handed, Pat Venditte, who’s throwing for the Yankees in Single A.  I’m a sucker for gimicky relivers (see here), so naturally I’m enthralled.  The highlight:

Switch-hitters will switch batter’s boxes, making Venditte switch the glove, starting a cat-and-mouse game that can go on for 10 minutes.

Read the whole piece.

Manny Ramirez, El Maniaco, Jesus, and Other Championship Performances: Part II

Our friend Neil Dodson, who earlier wrote about Manny Ramirez here, responds to the recent steroids scandal, doubling down on his earlier theory.

Life is a series of numbers, revolving characters, flim-flam, death, destruction, re-creation, recreation, and championship performances.  Our body constantly destroys cells and replenishes them with other stuff so that we can continue to live.  And then there’s Manny Ramirez.  We all know that Manny came from the future to save baseball and to prevent catastrophic events from occurring: but until now, we did not know that he served to save all of humanity.

You Like a Da Juice, Manny? Da Juice is Good, Yeah?

So maybe Neil was wrong when he suggested Manny Ramirez’s secret ingredient was time travel.  Nope, turns out Manny’s been caught doping.  His explanation:

Recently I saw a physician for a personal health issue. He gave me a medication, not a steroid, which he thought was okay to give me. Unfortunately, the medication was banned under our drug policy. Under the policy that mistake is now my responsibility. I have been advised not to say anything more for now. I do want to say one other thing; I’ve taken and passed about 15 drug tests over the past five seasons.

Victim of circumstance, or long-time steroid user?  You be the judge.  Note, it’s very easy to pass 15 drug tests over five seasons by using time travel.

In Which I Defend Vinny del Negro

Quick question: your favorite team adds a new rookie/hires a new coach?  How long a grace period do you give that player/coach before you stop excusing mistakes and refer to him as a bad player/coach.  My feeling is that your answer is somewhere around 1.5 years/10 days, though feel free to correct me in the comments section.  That is, fans give young players much more leeway out of the gate than they do coaches.  But why?  Shouldn’t a rookie coach be allowed to learn and mature in the same way that a rookie player does?

Jose Canseco to Fight 7-Foot Korean Dude!

Okay, huge, huge news.  The age-old question of who would win in a fight, Jose Canseco, or a Korean 7-footer, will be answered.  For me, this ranks slightly higher than resolving the battle between forty midget wrestlers and a lion, and slightly lower than resolving who would win if a fight between Bruce Lee and God.

All I can say is, holy crap!

Manny Ramirez, El Maniaco, Jesus, and Other Championship Performances

This is a guest-post from Neil Dodson, a long-time friend and fantasy adversary.

Life is a series of numbers, revolving characters, flim-flam, death, destruction, re-creation, recreation, and championship performances.  Our body constantly destroys cells and replenishes them with other stuff so that we can continue to live.  And then there’s Manny Ramirez.  Every once in a while, something will happen in life that’s so startling and so significant that it transcends everything else and changes how things are done.  Out of all the large numbers, and all the repetition, something will rise out of the fluff and everything else will imitate how things are done.  And that’s Manny Ramirez.